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Monday, August 22nd, 2005
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2:32 am - Paradise
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Paradise is lovely, but I don’t belong.
I tried to belong, to fit in. I walked around, I met them. The third generation... the second generation... and the first generation.
They don’t compare to my friends in Essex.
I spent that coin I took from Gideon... I bought a little trinket Sophie would’ve liked. I wish I could give it to her. Maybe she wouldn’t be upset if we got to go on another vacation. Maybe another trip to Paris.
Maybe I could’ve found Guy that time. Sat down and explained to him what happened... that I still cared for him, despite what had happened between us.
I loved Guy.
I loved Sophie.
I loved Alexander.
But they’re gone, aren’t they.
And here I am, left in my hell of a paradise. Without the ones I cared for the most.
Perhaps they’re all just waiting for me. All I need to do is find my way back to Essex. Guy will be there, with Mr. Baybury. Sophie will be there, sitting in my shop, wondering where I am. Alexander will be there, ready to chastise me for not doing my job.
I’ll bring Sophie with me to Elysium. We’ll have a great opening show. Guy’s designs will be on display for everyone to admire. Alexander should be pleased with my performance as Keeper. I organized that all myself, after all.
I find a scrap of paper in my purse and write a note to Connor:
It was a nice night in Enoch, but I belong in Essex. Perhaps you’ll come visit sometime.
I walk to the gate, and I find Cristofer Bodkin. I smile softly. He’ll surely understand.
“I want to go back to Essex.”
I love you, Alexander.
I love you, Sophie.
I love you, Guy.
I’ll see you all in a little bit. Just as soon as I get back to Essex.
I close my eyes, and walk through the gate.
current mood:  drained
current music: No Doubt-Tragic Kingdom
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| Saturday, August 13th, 2005
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2:10 am - Scattered Thoughts
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Poor Sophie.
I've come to realize that while I've not lost too much of my humanity, I've forgotten what it is like to have to worry about the little things. Like family. It's been a century since I've had to worry about what opinion my mother and father had of me.
I'm sure it was hard for them, loosing their only daughter. It was hard for me to not visit them and assure them I would be okay.
At 128, I can be more flippant about many things, and I forget that everything matters so much more at 18.
At this point, I'm afraid of losing Sophie. She's a dear friend, a skilled seamstress; much more than a ghoul. I owe her my life. Many Kindred would call me foolish for caring so deeply for a person, especially one who is usually viewed as a tool. But she reminds me of myself, and I want to have her around me for a long time.
Tomorrow, perhaps. Tomorrow perhaps I can talk to her. Explain. Apologize. Fix things, even. If she can even trust me not to mess things up further.
Mr. Croup asked me to make a dress for Shannon. I think I'll make one for Sophie, as well. Alexander may scoff at my treatment of Sophie, but I want her to be happy.
I love her, after all.
current mood:  fatiguée
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| Sunday, June 19th, 2005
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10:43 am - Taking Control
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I arrived at Elysium last night to find it locked, and I didn't have a key. Apparently I'm not important enough. But anyway. With the prince and seneschal nowhere to be found, I knew I had to do something before someone else took control. I pulled Justin Rommel and Alexander aside and discussed it with them. They agreed with me that that was the best course of action I could take, so I gathered everyone I could together in the old warehouse we have been using off and on. I declared myself prince until either the prince or the seneschal came to me. I appointed Justin as my seneschal, and Max as a bit of a Keeper for the time. I also appointed Tyler Irasmus as the sherrif, demoting Mr. Vrai.
At that point, attention shifted to what exactly was in Elysium. I heard multiple reports of boys' dead bodies chained up and all over the floor. Obviously, the first course of action was to clean it up. I eventually worked up the courage to go over and view the scene for myself. It was as everyone said: an awful monstrosity of eviscerated teenaged boys with puncture holes in their necks, scattered on the floor and chained to the walls. What made this even more horrible was the fact that these boys had been dead before. The boys were the members of the local high school American football team, whom the Sabbat killed around this time last year.
I tried to decide where to put the bodies. The sewer was the best option, but Apophas and her children have been getting visibly hungry... the city tried to find another solution, but to no avail. We put the bodies in the sewers.
Thankfully, M. Vaughn arrived, and after consulting with him on the matter of Elysium, I finally saw the letter that there had been rumours of. It was addressed to Domascus, apparently from his sire. The carnage in Elysium was a "coronation gift", one of our own is missing because of him, and it appears Domascus has ties to the Sabbat as a trained assassain. Another person with sire problems, although I must admit a jealous, raging Frenchman is better than a sire from the Sabbat that leaves gifts of boys' corpses.
At this point, I gladly relinquished the position of prince to Dominic, and he proceeded to make more announcements at the warehouse. He named Alexander seneschal, and me a sort of advisor. He dissolved all other positions for the time, and tried to organize things. There were more announcements, but I did not hear them, as I was pulled aside by Max.
Max introduced himself as Agent Stevens, the only representative left over from IBM. He seemed confused that he was the only one there, and he insisted he was left behind. The events of last year seemed to have given him another personality, much like Alexander now has one more. Malkavians seem not to be flat-out crazy like everyone mentions, but just more fragile-minded than most individuals of other clans. Whether they are selected for such traits, or their blood makes them this way, I believe I shall never know. But I digress.
With my duties of running the city properly handed off to a responsible individual, I requested for one of the Nosferatu to allow me into the sewers to talk to Apophis. Apparently I picked the wrong one... we had a horrible time trying to get in, and just as we were making progress, we made enough noise to alert one of the residents to our presence. The Nosferatu ran, but in moment of fear, I showed my vampiric nature to the woman. I really only meant to glare at her and make her go away, but I beared my fangs and hissed at her instead.
After that, M. Vaughn of course found out, and it's really a blur after that. Fearing banishment, and even death, I really couldn't control my emotions. I was also horribly embarrassed for breaking the Masquerade after trying to uphold it by getting Vrai out of office. I was only 1/3 blood bound to the prince. Only. I say that so casually, considering my past experiences with the subject...
After this, I ambled around for a bit, being comforted by many, including Alexander, Frances, and then Theodore. I must say, I liked Theodore the best. At least he didn't try to make me tea like Frances did. M. Rommel also followed me around to make sure I was safe. I should repay him for his kindness, and in fact, he has asked me to do so, so I shall.
We have also become an Anarch state, apparently. We called Rickard and refused payment, and he pulled support from the city. Not like that will change much. He never supported us in the first place. He came in, took over, and then demanded money that we cannot hope to repay anytime soon.
My shop's business is almost non-existant these days. No one wants luxury items when one's life is in danger from day to day. I can bearly afford to pay my dearest Sophie. Anyone involved with the arts is moving to Burlington... I'd move back to Paris if I wasn't so invested in this city. I only hope Guy calls me soon, or I fear I will go crazy.
current mood:  discontent
current music: Mozart - Horn Concerto #3 in E Flat Major
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| Sunday, May 29th, 2005
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1:32 pm - Fire and death
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Well, someone burned down my shop and haven.
I cannot dwell on this, even though I am devistated. As Primogen, I have more things to attend to than just my shop. Like the horrible Masquerade breech that happened last Saturday. I cannot believe Fezzik would be so careless and blatently disrespectful of Alexander's wishes. Someone must have told him to do that.
Fezzik is certainly dead, Dresden will probably be dead as well. I fear for Alexander, as well. The rest of us, well... I can only hope we survive.
current mood:  awake
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| Monday, May 16th, 2005
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2:51 am - «Les elections et les entrevues premiers»
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Well, the vampires in the city had the first meeting in Elysium this year. Alexander went over how he was going to make Essex more democratic, and we elected positions. I had the privilage of being elected primogen along with Betelguese. I really didn't know people had any confidence in me after my night as prince...
Also, there are quite a few new people in the city. They must all have their reasons for coming, but I hope those reasons are good enough to warrent coming here. Of course, no one but those who were here last year truly know what went on in Essex, so maybe the heresay is better than the facts.
M. Allens worries and frightens me. He is becoming less human every time I see him. I fear he will destroy himself in the coming weeks. His support of Anne-Marie also makes me worry about her. But then again, I worry too much. I should just relax, and write that letter...
current mood:  tracassée
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| Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
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12:08 am - «J'aime quelque chose»
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I found a nice little program for my computer that allows me to update my journal without having to go to the website. Isn't that lovely?
I'm working on some new designs for a spring and summer line. I'm also thinking of making more outfits for men. I find that many male goths around here dress rather slobbish. Maybe goth is moving back closer to punk, which isn't very appealing to me. I will always have a soft spot for a well-dressed man with a waistcoat. I wonder if Guy still uses influences from older time periods, or if he's fallen into the same boring modern fashion mindset. I hope not... despite what he did to me, I have always admired him...
current mood: mélancolie
current music: Mozart - Romancee
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| Monday, February 21st, 2005
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2:45 am - «Une décision»
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I've decided to try to mend the broken relationship between my sire and I. That's really all I have to publicly say about the matter.
Doll, we can play Secrets sometime later if you have a nice secret to trade. I can give you details.
It's rather silly that I can trust a Malkavian over those in my own clan. Perhaps that's just because I'm not really close to anyone else around here...
current mood: mécontente
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| Friday, February 18th, 2005
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11:22 pm - «Une introduction»
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My, how technology has grown in the past century. Humans have come so far. I feel I must get used to all these electronic gadgets and such, so I've decided to keep an electronic online journal. I believe they call it a "blog". English is such a strange language.
In any case, I shall make a formal introduction. My name is Gabrielle Léger, and I live and work in Essex Junction, Vermont. I was born in Paris, France, and have since lived in England and Canada before my subsequent move to the US. I am somewhat of an entrepreneure (or entrepreneur, as the genderless English likes to spell it. I'd rather not refer to myself with a masculine adjective, however...)
I run a gothic clothing shop in the heart of downtown Essex Junction. All the clothes there are made by my me and my assistant and apprentice, Sophie. A lovely and charming girl; she reminds me of myself sometimes. But then again, I can get very nostalgic.
This journal is here to record the events in this town as I see them. There is a rich... political culture here, and it's very complex. I would hate to see things or people forgotten.
current mood:  sereine
current music: Hadyn - Symphony no. 88 in G minor
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